Adopting, for me, has been a healing process. I was in and out of a foster home from birth to age of 11. I finally had my forever family at 11 but unfortunately, I came with 11 years of baggage. Part of my baggage was wondering if I am actually loved by my family as much as they love other children who they gave birth to. Part of my baggage was wondering if they adopted me because "they had to" or because "it was their duty". Part of my baggage was how people see me, knowing a large part of my story. I've had millions of conversations with mom and little by little, my baggage became smaller in size but it was still there. Even to this day, I still have some things I struggle with as result of my childhood. But...
Adopting Jada and baby girl (name to be revealed soon!) has done wonders to my healing process. Knowing how deeply I love them, knowing how far I would go for them, knowing how natural it feels to be their mama really helped me understand how my own mom felt. Over and over again, my mom would say she loves us all equally. I get it now, I really do. I love both of my girls.
I couldn't love them more if they grew in my belly. I really couldn't. I already love my girls with so much intensity, so much depth, and there is no end to this love. It grows, expands, overflows, over and over again.
Girls, I love you both so much, forever and forever.