J-girls. Jada and Jaelyn. Two peas in a pod.

I love watching them together. They are extremely close, despite differences in their personalities and age. Jada is 7. Jaelyn is 5. Jada prefers to have things in right order, likes her spaces clean, keeps herself clean, is wary of strangers, very loyal once she bonds with someone, loud and funny when she feels comfortable, hates being alone, loves dinners but hates breakfasts, very artistic. Jaelyn likes to go with the flow, doesn't mind mess, can be found with food on her clothes and face, would greet strangers with no fear, sensitive and likes having her own space once in a while, loves breakfasts but hates dinners, very athletic. They are polar opposites. Yet, they play together so well. They get each other. Jada knows when Jaelyn needs her space. Jaelyn knows when Jada needs a cuddle. They take turns playing games they want to play. They fight but they don't get overtly upset because they know their friendship is strong enough to withstand a fight. Every Monday, they sit quietly and catch each other up on what they have been doing over the weekend (if they are not together that weekend). Every day after school, they play together, fight, give each other space, then cuddle on the couch. Not even 5 minutes after one girl leaves, the other will ask to be with her.

I love watching them together and I hope they stay best friends for many years to come. <3

It has been 11 months since you went home with Jesus. Those are some of hardest months I've ever had. Some days are worst than others but there has not been a day without a tear. Growing up, I had always told myself to be prepared for the day you died because you were in your late 50's when you became my mama. I thought I would be well-prepared and that I would be able to cope with your death better than some. I thought I would breeze through the grieving process and although I knew I would miss you very much, I thought I would be able to cope easily. I couldn't be more wrong. Some days, I don't want to get out of bed. Some days, it feels like I am crawling through mud to get through the day. Some days, I would breeze through the day only to break down at night. It seems to take a lot of effort to smile, to laugh and to socialize. I miss your weekly e-mails. I miss our bi-weekly visits. I miss your hugs. I miss having someone who I can truly talk to. You were my person. You were the only person who truly understood me to the core. You saw me at my worst, you saw me at my best, you saw me through everything in between. You understood my fears. You understood my struggles. It is hard to lose the only person who truly understood without me having to explain. I miss our talks about nothing and everything. I miss our cuddles. I miss our time together. I miss your advices (imagine that!). I miss knowing you are there. I would imagine that it'll take some more time to adjust to my new reality of not having you here. To the reality of being motherless again. I will never stop missing you, loving you and looking forward to the day we would be reunited. I didn't thank you enough for everything you've done for me but I hope you are able to see my heart from where you are and know how much you truly mean to me. Thank you for being my mama. Thank you for being exactly who I needed you to be. I love you.

Often people say, "Oh, you did such a good job with Jada! She wouldn't be where she is if it was not for you guys!" but the truth? If Jada wasn't a fighter, she would not be where she is today. From the day she was born, she fought to not only survive, but to truly shine. It is her own zest for life, her own inner strength and the drive to do better that brought her to where she is. Sure, we gave her opportunities, tools and plenty of love but if she didn't have that drive, she would just simply exist.

She was born under 2 pounds with a long list of health problems. She had a heart defect, she was not able to eat, she was underweight, she had low muscle tone, she was barely breathing on her own, and the placenta was all dried up, meaning she was developing in the womb with minimal nutrition. She had a heart surgery, G-Tube inserted, and not able to leave the hospital for months. She had all those odds against her and guess what? She lived.

First two years of her life was tough. She was neglected to point where she was only 12 pounds when she was two years old. She was severely malnourished and at this point in her life, all she could do was stare at a wall all day long and not move. She was not able to sit up, roll, crawl or walk. She had no words. But guess what? She lived.

Next two years of her life, she moved from foster home to foster home. Although she did not have a stable, loving home where she could truly begin to develop loving relationships, she slowly gained weight (through g-tube), began to move around and learned how to communicate her needs through behaviour. She also began to smile, to cry, to get angry, to scream in excitement and to engage in various of activities. Guess what? She didn't only live but began to thrive.

At age of 3 years and 10 months, she met us. Her new mommy and daddy. Her forever family. When she first came home, she was able to show moods, to gesture, to sit up, roll, crawl and walk (in her own special way!) but she still had to learn how to eat, how to communicate through ASL, how to go to bathroom, and most important of all, how to be in a loving relationship. There was not a single day where she did not want to learn. There was not a single moment wasted. She was on the go and really wanted to utilize every opportunity to do more, to be better, to learn. Every single day, every single situation, every single moment, she wanted to understand. This is all her. Every single day, she learned a new sign or two. In matter of weeks, she was potty trained. In matter of months, she was able to eat full meals and slowly became independent from G-Tube. In a year, she truly began to bond with us, to trust us and finally, she knew how to love. Guess what? She thrived.

Today, she's an amazing 7 (going 16) little girl with same zest for life. She's a mommy's girl through and through. She's a gifted artist. She's a loyal friend. She is compassionate, loving, creative, hilarious and wise beyond her years. She loves anything pink. She loves glitter. She has a journal she writes and draws in everyday. She loves to help us cook. She especially loves to clean and keep things organized (you will never see her bedroom messy). She talks non-stop about our trip to USVI last year. She wants to travel to Mexico, Cuba, Kenya and Florida soon. Her favorite classes are art, computer, social science, health and most important part of her day in school is recess. She misses her grandma who "lives with God and does not limp anymore" very much. One day, she would like to be a chef, to marry someone like daddy or marry her best friend, Jaelyn, have two kids ("I am not as crazy as mommy who wants 5 kids" she says), and she wants to buy a house next to mommy and daddy's.

She is definitely a survivor.

What does it mean? To dare to live in full bloom? Life has a habit of throwing you curve balls, putting you on a roller coaster and every now and then, surprise you. It is just how it is. The challenge though? To remain in full bloom, to have inner joy and see happiness in daily life. It is a daily challenge for me. Some days, I fail. Some days, I succeed. Here, in my own little spot in the gigantic world of web, I dare to celebrate a life in full bloom.