For the longest time, friendships is one of the hardest challenge I had. For some reason, I always thought that a true friendship means a permanent, close friendship. I am not sure why I thought this way but every time a friendship fades, I saw this as a betrayal. Many times, I would wonder if it is me, if I did something wrong (I am sure I did few times) or if I am simply not the type of person people want to be friends with. Am I too loud? Am I too opinionated? Am I too intense? Am I too moody? I would often wonder. On top of that, being adopted at a late age with 11 years of abuse in my huge baggage, I have hard time relating/bonding with people in general.
The older I become, the more I understand myself. I now understand that friendships comes in many shapes and what works for my personality might not work for everyone. Those who I've come to be close with are those who understood me best at the time. There are certain friendships I needed at certain times in my life. Some friendships are short-lasting but true. Some friendships are long-lasting but involves many ups and downs. Some friendships are meant for that specific time and will always be remembered fondly. Some friendships are long distance and good in-depth talks would be reserved for times we do get together. And so on. Two different people come to each other in different times with different needs and whatever friendship came out of that would be the friendship we needed at the time. I now understand that it is OK.
Now, I have close friends who understands where I am at life right now. Friends who understand if I need to hide away for a little bit, friends who understand if I feel a bit frazzled when there are many appointments happening at once, friends who put up with my bragging about my girls and friends who celebrate our new family which is what matters the most to me at this point in life.
With that being said, I want ALL of my friends from all times in my life to know that I love you, I am grateful for our friendships and thank you for being you when I needed you to be you. <3